Lord Tree

How come some kids respond positively to spanking while others don't?

Why is it that there are some kids who respond positively to spanking, learn lessons from it and are made better people by it, and others who respond negatively and are disturbed or even scarred by it? Like, you see a kid every now and then who grows up to have a spanking fetish or something. Are kids' minds really so drastically different? I kind of think the effectiveness of discipline depends not so much on the method as on the kid. Like, there are some kids with whom it won't work, others with whom it will. Is that right?

Public Comments

1. I don't think spanking is ever a good idea, sorry. It just shows that the parent doesn't have any better ideas, and that the person who is biggest and strongest can smack the other one into doing what they say. Just because not everyone is totally wrecked by it doesn't mean it makes them better people.
2. Spanking is not always the way to go. Sometimes other punishments are useful. 60% of of children who's only punishment was spanking, ended up being very abusive parents. And then the grandparents wonder why their child is being so mean to their grandchild. It was because of them So I'm going to say you were half wrong and half right
3. Lots of reasons, 1. It depends on the parents attitude while spanking their child. 2. It depends on the age they stopped spanking their child. 3. It depends on the reasons "why" they spanked their child. 4. It depends on how often they spanked their child. The age is definetly important. If you ever decide to spank a child, stop when they reach preteenhood (age 9 - 17). Spanking will have a negative effect on a child who is old enough to reason and think abstractly.
4. I got spankings when i was a child and it only made me were i didnt want my parents to find anything out and kept alot of secrets from them. Its all about the child and their morals.
5. I think it bad. I mean if your friend said something nasty you dont just give them a punch or you will get done for assault. So what gives adults the right to harm a child any way even if it doesn't leave a mark? You might think it's disciplineing the child because he doesn't do it next time but the only reason he doesn't misbehave afterwards is because he is scared. And thats bullying. I use to get spanked and i hated my parents for it and still do feel angry and them for it. Like the NSPCC ad says ' Hands should nuture not punish and are your hands weapons of love?'
6. Everyone is unique. Different strokes for different folks
7. Perhaps some children put it together in their heads that their parents have told them their bottom is a private place, and that their parents are hitting them in that private place out of anger, to get them to submit to their authority? Just a thought. That could definitely make a kid feel violated, which would be a negative response to spanking. It's probably really invasive to some kids, but you're right, all kids are different. Some things will work on some, and those same things might be emotionally damaging to others.
8. Ok I'm a teenager and I'm from England so instead of spanking I'm going to use slapping :) First off, if anyone ever slapped me. My mother, my father ANYONE I would return the hit. No matter who it was, no one should be able to hit someone and get away with it. I class it as abuse whether it is bruised or not. Some kids will only respond to it through fear. Is that what you want, to intimidate your child. Nope. Theres much better ways to punish kids. Don't scream and shout you either loose respect and get walked all over, or frighten them. Worst thing for me is if my possesions are took away from me like my laptop.
9. some kids have high pain tolerances and very stable self esteems. Others have low pain tolerances and fragile self esteems. It works better on the latter for obvious reasons.
10. Why is it that some people respond differently to ''No Parking: Street Sweeping'' signs? Some people park there, get a ticket and are more careful. Others keep getting tickets no matter how much it effects their pocketbook. I think you said it partly right: it depends on the kid. It's because we're humans, not robots. We react in different ways to different things. But it also depends on the person doing the disciplining and whether it was given fairly, angrily, etc. I was spanked rarely. But I did suffer a couple real embarrassing ones. But it didn't scar me. Would I spank my future kids? No. On the other hand, a girlfriend in my class in grade school was spanked frequently by her hateful stepmom. She was often humiliated in front of her stepbrothers in the worst way you can imagine (think lack of modesty) and sometimes even in front of her friends. Her stepbrothers were rarely punished, even though they often were the ones instigating something. Eventually she tried to run away when she was 14. Thankfully, the parents of another girlfriend of mine found her wandering the streets and called the girl's dad before something horrible happened. Today, too many parents need to lean how to PARENT, instead of resorting to knee-jerk reactions to punish because maybe that's the way they were brought up. But I don't think spanking is necessarily as horrible as it is often made out to be. That depends on how forceful, frequency and how fairly/unfairly it is applied. However, sometimes it IS horrible. And that goes for especially spankings/paddlings in school, too. I think it's what happens in the schools where Rachel's comment above said it best: "hitting them in that private place out of anger, to get them to submit to their authority? Just a thought. That could definitely make a kid feel violated, which would be a negative response to spanking." Same thing with humiliating strip-searches, denying bathroom breaks, public panty-checks at school dances and other c### like that. It's like the schools are trying to raise a generation of sheep that will be afraid to question anything the government says or does.